This column originally ran in the Winnipeg Sun on July 30, 2015

It’s important to have a friend who’s a bit of a jerk. People without those friends are always painfully obvious during the early rounds of Canadian Idol. If only they had friends who made fun of their singing before they got on TV.

We have (partially) good news for Manitoba Liquor and Lotteries: the Canadian Taxpayers Federation is your tell-it-like-it-is friend.

So here’s the truth: Governments stink at selling booze. It’s time to stop.

A quick look down memory lane shows just how behind the times the government has been when it comes to selling-booze.

Prohibition hit Manitoba in 1916. Only government dispensaries could sell liquor and only for industrial, scientific, mechanical, artistic, sacramental or medical uses. Doctors prescribing single malt shots became very popular. So did speakeasies and bootleggers.

By 1923, Prohibition had been pushed out of Manitoba, but the government remained firmly in control of alcohol. Manitobans were forced to apply for permits in order to buy liquor. The government tracked how much liquor each person bought. People could be banned from buying booze by the police.

Five years later Manitobans were allowed to have a beer at a bar. But only if there wasn’t any dancing, singing, gambling, playing games or even standing. The dancing ban may have been largely redundant because men and women weren’t allowed to drink in the same room.

Things didn’t change much until 1956. Manitobans were no longer forced to apply for permits to buy booze – they just had to complete an order form at the liquor store, including their names and addresses, so that a government employee could get their booze from the back and Big Brother could keep an eye on how much they were drinking. Manitobans could get a drink on Sunday for the first time, but only if they were golfing or curling (no doubt a factor in the popularity of both sports). Men and women could drink in the same room the next year, but dancing was still off the table until the advent of the disco era in 1970.

Big Brother finally looked the other way in 1970 and allowed Manitobans to pick out their own bottles and bring them to the till instead of handing in an order form for a government employee to fill in the back. The next year the first woman got to work in a liquor store.

Privately owned wine stores opened in 1994. But only a few. And there were lots of rules about pricing, fees and “general rules of operation.”

In 2011, the Manitoba government had an epiphany: maybe people would like to pick up a bottle of wine or a six pack of beer while they’re getting groceries. Obviously, this kind of radical idea should be explored with great caution. A few grocery stores now have Liquor Marts, but even that modest progress is proceeding slowly.

Once again, the Manitoba government is behind the rest of the world when it comes to selling booze. For goodness sake, in some government corners it’s still taboo to suggest allowing private stores to use their own shelves, fridges and cash registers to sell liquor.

Look government, you’ve tried. We appreciate the effort. We do. But we’ve all gone to the States and bought beer and wine at the grocery store without observing any obvious civil disorder. It was handy. We liked it. We’ve even bought booze in private stores in Alberta and Quebec. Alberta and Quebec – if those two can agree that private liquor stores can work then surely to goodness we can give it a try here.

So stop. Just stop. Don’t try any more experiments. No more half measures. We all know we’re going to be buying our booze in private stores eventually. Let’s just do it already.